Tomi Lahren Teaches Us How to Get Rid of Her


     Someone finally tried to douse the wicked witch.

     Now I for one will be the first person to say that I don't give a flying fuck about Teriyaki Lohan. When her videos come across my Facebook feed I promptly scroll past them, unbothered, skin glowing, flourishing without her venom in my life. However, I'm petty, and I do sometimes experience joy when other people suffer, especially when those people are self-proclaimed puppy-kickers and racist Far-Right advocates. So, when I came across a headline that said Tabitha Licorice had water thrown at her while out at brunch in Minneapolis, Minnesota, I couldn't help but click on the article to read more.

     What I was expecting was a quick anecdote about how some rogue political hero had decided to douse the wicked witch and watch her melt. What I wasn't expecting was that Tuttifrutti Loquat would inadvertently give us all instructions on how to banish her for good -- but that's exactly what she did.

     As a follow up to the incident, Tuberculosis Laryngitis made a post on Facebook saying "To all the girls who follow and look to me as a source of inspiration, don’t let what happened to me discourage you from speaking your mind and being your authentic self. Bullies win when we start giving them our energy. Take that energy and let it fuel you!"

     While I certainly don't fall under the category of someone who looks up to Tom&Jerry Loco (I physically can't since she only comes to 5'5" [so much rage in such a small package]) I do have to say that I agree with her.  Bullies win when we give them our views, our clicks, our time and our energy.  And no one is a better example of that than the ultimate big-mouthed, bigoted, blonde headed bully herself: Tomi Lahren. (Yes, I used her government name there, because I want to make sure those titles follow her.)

     Toyota Listerine's entire career is based off of being incendiary.  Her money doesn't come from being educated, articulate, or logical -- it comes from riling up liberals (or anybody with a functioning moral compass) by spewing anti-black, anti-woman, pro-gun, Far-Right vitriolic bullshit. And while Ultraconservatives could help keep her show on air through their own support, it's when we do things like share her videos and give her clicks and views that her content goes viral and she makes millions off of our outrage.

     Tittie Longstocking is a bully forreal. And the only way to defeat her is to leave her to die. While it may be tempting to hit play on the latest soundbite that's come across your feed, the healthiest thing you can do is move right on past it. Use that energy you would have expended typing a heated paragraph on Facebook to write your state representative a letter. Instead of giving her a view, which translates directly into revenue, find a socially conscious Youtuber to support and give them your time instead. In a world where your eyes and energy are a literal form of currency, it's time we stop putting money in the pockets of people who profit off of divisiveness and pain.

     And while I understand the school of thought that says you should listen to your enemy so you can be both educated and prepared, there is a difference between tuning in to hear what the Right is currently pushing for and hate-watching a video in bed while procrastinating working on whatever deadline you have coming up.

     In short; if you're not watching with the intent to be informed and if you know it's going to bother you, don't watch it. All it's going to do is ruin your mood and line her pockets. This is the first (and likely the last) time I'll say it but take a tip from Toyota Lazarus and repurpose that energy. Let it fuel you to be more vocal and active in your political and personal pursuits. Because at the end of the day, Tapanga Luigi is only one person, and though she has a platform, it's only because we give her one. Bullies thrive on attention and energy, and it's time we take ours back.